HMMMM.....

This is going to be a heavy one, so be for warned.

Last week I was laying in bed and felt something strange around my abdomen area...something somewhat in similarity to a two fisted knot in size...didn't think anything of it at the time...thinking that maybe I was constipated b/c of my medication...so I had my friend Diane come over the next day to feel it...she was questioning but no alarms went off until my mother felt it on Friday. I woke up this morning and scheduled an apt with my doctor.

I'm sitting there for the longest time with a paper sheet strapped across my lap thinking that waiting rooms are supposed to be before you go into the actual diagnostic room...when the trusty doctor walked in and asked me how I was...I told him that I would feel better when he told me that I wasn't dying from this knot in my stomach. I lye down on the table and he began to knead at my belly and cocked his head in an...hmmm...sort of fashion.

He tells me that the 'mass' is in my abdomen and wondered if I could be pregnant....I laughed and said no....he said that it seemed that I had a uterine fibroid tumor in my abdomen the size of two small grapefruits. But he wanted to do a pregnancy test just to be on the safe side. He did and surprise, surprise the results said no....he said that I had a 20 weeks size uterus....meaning that my stomach looks pregnant b/c of what is growing there...sexy right...lol

I told him that I have lost 25 pounds and I didn't understand why my stomach still looked the way it did...he said, well now you know why. Then he proceeds to ask me if I have any kids, I say no...then he asks, 'well do you plan on having any?' I said that the thought crossed my mind and said no, but then again I did have time and he said that no I didn't....that if it is as big as he suspects then I would have to have a hysterectomy. He also said that the majority of these tumors were benign. So I think, okay....benign, benign, benign...click my heels three times and pray like I have never prayed before that it is benign.

I have an internal sonogram scheduled for Wednesday to hopefully give me a little bit more clarity on this sticky situation....but still laugh b/c for real....this is so my luck.

I feel like this is all a dream, someone else's nightmare...I am staying positive...once again it is not in my hands...it is in God's hands...and I really pray like mad that he is having a good day that day.

I will keep things posted...for those of you who still read this...please keep me in your thoughts...I need all the good thoughts/prayers that are feesably possible right now.