NIGHT TERROR

It's very rare that I have a nightmare...and that is a very good thing...at one point in my life I couldn't have said that...back in my junior high days...I had to go to therapy because they were that bad and I was scared to death to go to sleep.

I love vampires, I've always been fascinated in them, everyone knows that. I fell in love with Anne's interpretation because she made them more human, more realistic, sensual and beautiful than anyone else. But what I dreamt of just now, there was no beauty there.


...............................................................................................................................................................................

I was at Caves Lounge, my friends Danny and Jeffrey's band had just got done playing. I hadn't seen the boys in so long and I was happy that they were all there at one time. Some of the people were leaving so the crowd had died down. I had fallen out of my bar stool and was now sitting on the ground. The bartender must have cut me off b/c I had left.

I'm walking through a parking lot, I'm not really sure where it was, I am assuming that it was the lot that is behind the building that my dad lived in while we were growing up...b/c the rest of the dream took place in that building.

Beside one of the cars was a shopping cart full of goodies, movies, music, comic books and t-shirts.

The comic books is what got me b/c they were Anne Rice's Lestat books....I've always wanted that version she did as a comic book...but these weren't by Anne...it was very weird, but I was drunk and my attention span was boggled. I trailed off to the shirts. The one at the very end of the basket was Dark grey, a layered long sleeve shirt. It had red writing and a picture of something but I forgot...whatever was on the writing summoned what happened next. I wanted to buy the shirt but nobody was there to collect the money so I said fuck it, and started to enter into the building.

I passed the gate for some odd reason and noticed two people had exited and coming near me. One of them was a woman...think of a typical vampire wench...that was her....but him....I was going to find a picture to post...but I want to do everything in my power to forget him.

He had blond hair, it was hard to really see his face because it was dark. It looked like he had make up on, he wasn't beautiful, sexual he was evil...so very evil. Of course his nails were long, but not pretty, they were dead finger nails. On his right hand, his pinky there was like a long needle, that is what he used to get the blood, he didn't bite.

When he approached me he put his left hand on my shoulder, I was pleading with him...I told him he could have my blood but not to turn me or to kill me. He hovered over me, it's like his shadow swallowed me and I was now on the ground, wet b/c it had been raining.

He inserted the bone like needle into the bend of my left arm. I could feel him inside of me. The pain is unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life. I literally felt him grab hold of my soul.

I woke up (in my dream mind you) and I was in bed vomiting. I was in the apartment that my dad lived in...the same building...but thought it was just a dream. I vomited again and noticed that I had gotten sick on Sadey. I was still a little drunk from the night before but thinking to myself what a weird dream that was. I got out of bed and when I got into the bathroom I realized it wasn't a dream. My left arm was hurting, when I looked down sure enough, there was a track mark.

I got sick again, splashed water on my face and checked my arm so many times just to make sure that I wasn't seeing anything...but the pain was evident within itself.

I went into my bed room to find clothes, anything clean, I had to go to the hospital, but who would believe me? For all they knew I shot up with heroin or what not.

I called Shelly...I was going to have her drive me but I can't remember if she answered or not b/c I never made it to the hospital. I found where his covenant was. I wanted to find him, I wanted to know what was going to happen to him. All I found was a bunch of kids playing pool and hanging out...they were vampires but there wasn't anything special about them...One of them hissed at me....I must of said something about God or maybe he saw my cross...I don't know but he turned evil...said sort of comment like 'you better not let him see/hear that'.....then I woke up....for real this time.

..........................................................................................................................................................................


I had a horrible headache when I awoke...more like I could feel my brain pulsating. I called my mom, I had to hear her voice. I turned all the lights on and now I'm just waiting for the sun to come up. If I had a car I would leave.

It's funny b/c the building that all this took place in is where I want to move back to when I move back home. My grandparents owned the building way before any of us (my sisters) were thought of....They owned the stores below the apartment buildings. There were four apartments.

The one my great grandparents lived in is where my parents lived when they were still married and when I was first born.

I loved those apartments....and they had a roof...you know like in some movies based in NY where you see people climb out there windows and they are on the roof top...that's how this place is. I'm surprised, that's all.

I've always loved the idea behind vampires, I think that's what I like most about Jason was b/c he truly wanted to be one and other than being immortal he was pretty close to one...well he didn't drink blood, whatever.

Anne never made them evil, she had a way of putting religion in there...I believe in God all the way, totally...I just don't agree with certain aspects that the bible thumpers throw in the face of anyone that is gay and yes I love Manson...but I know where I stand....and I think that those type of people take it far beyond what the book really says and means. My sister and brother in law have a problem with me (or at one point they did) b/c of my obsession with vampires.

I got really good at changing the subject. You might read my dream and think that it was no big deal...but it felt like I did the tango with the devil...that's the only thing that I can say about it...feeling him inside of me like that...it makes me want to go home and talk to my pastor.

I don't know. I very rarely write down my bad dreams but I had to get this one off my chest. I remember all the ones that I have. They are like etched in my brain. I want this one to leave. I have a good two hours before the sun comes up. Did I mention that I checked my arm several times when I woke up...haha...seriously inspected it....crazy shit!!!