oh me oh my

I have some suggestions...never go to bed with a wet head, never go out drinking the night before you have a road trip planned and keep all cell phones and computers away from me while anebriated. LOL...that should be a cardinal rule.

I'm still at D's house, ignoring my blog down below, I'm not deleteing it so get over it. I'm eating coa-coa puffs...I still get all giddy when I go to someones house and they have sugary cereal...we weren't allowed to eat it growing up, I still don't buy it so my mouth gets a semi breakfast vacation when it is available.

oh keep me in your throughts today...lord knows I will need it....first off for traveling with my mother (her driving scares the shit out of me) and secondly for the farce of a wedding that I will be attending...seriously, they shouldn't let just anybody get married.

I'm worried about my friends in NOLA...I really hope this hurricane derails from you guys...you will be in my thoughts.

I have to attempt to wake up Diane now...lol...I feel like shit...put on a happy face and deal.

5AM

Too early to be awake and for me too late for sleep...damn I can't seem to win these days.

In 5 hours I will be headed to Wichita and I wish more now than any other time that I would be going to bed and going to sleep because I feel that I could only because I have been drinking. We left the bar 3 hours ago and I have been in the pool ever since, now I am in Diane's backyard typeing what ever seems to be what ever this is....

To read in between the lines is what someone taught me how to do many years ago and I never thought that I was the type of person to do just that...I have always been a matter of fact type of girl but I seemed to have lost my way tonight.

You see, when you have worked for such a place that I have worked for the last 11 years you learn to grow a thick skin...you learn to realize that people will base certain theories and rumors on who you are based on what they hear or materialize and knowing such things, you tend to shut yourself off and be who they want you to be. Oh hell, that made no sense what so evever...but just bare with me because I'm trying here.

I like a certain someone...and mind you in Pratt world I'm not supposed to...and certainly I'm not supposed to act on those feelings b/c there are still lurking eyes lingering still waiting for me to muck up...and maybe I am reading into deep...which I tend to do, but if I could do it all over again when asked for me to stop speaking in between the lines, I would have kissed him...maybe...or at least it is what I wanted to do...I hesitated longer than I should have, but that's me...thinking, yeah your drunk, yeah, whatever, yeah you go home, yeah whatever, yeah like he will honestly remember this in the morning...

Because if I would have, it would have changed everything and it is so much easier to forget when you are not around...it's so much easier to forget that moment that you were in b/c you were drinking...and I didn't want to be that girl...so easily forgoten or to be filed away as a drunken moment. Because in all truth...he means the world to me and I don't know why...it baffles me but he does. I worked for him for the amount of years that I did, but it was work, there was no personal time there, and I feel, honestly that there never will be. And if I am wrong, prove me wrong.

I will hold that moment forever and want it again like mad again in the future, but I know it will never happen again. It's almost six now....fuck me....I wish I could sleep you know...wrap my arms tightly around someone who cares...the sandman is a twisted fuck in my head right now...my dreams give me more comfort than reality does...and I spit sometimes at Pratt for making me the jaded woman that I am.

VERY STRANGE DREAM

I slept for about 50 minutes now...and I mean I really slept hard, which THANK YOU!!! Just wish it was longer...so okay, surprise, surprise, very strange dream.

I'm out at my mother's house dog sitting, it had gotten freakishly cold outside. My cousin Tobi Gail had come down for a class and was hanging out before she had to go back to the falls. For some reason there was construction going on in the back bedroom and Lukas, two friends of his, his sister (which was Lori Dori) and one of the construction workers.

I was trying to find something for Tobi to eat when my mother called and I smelled eggs burning, when I turned around she had turned one of the burners on with the carton of eggs sitting on the stove (my mother has one of those flat top ovens) I hurried up and moved them before they caught fire, mom was yelling in my ear some sort of 'I need to know' rules but accidently hung up on her.

Now there is a couch in the kitchen, where the refrigerator is now, and I was sitting next to Lori Dori (Lukas' sister, not too sure if he even as one), she was giving me a manicure, she was glueing nails on top of mine, and doing a horrible job at it, but I didn't want to be rude so I let her to continue on. Glue was all over my hands and nails were everywhere. She had gotten upset and Lukas was ready to go. They were heading back to Dallas. He was shouting out some things to the construction worker and was heading toward the front door, he bent behind the chair to grab his back when I noticed that he cut his hair. It was really short in the back and a tad long on front...and it was silver...I commented on it and you know how guys are...but when he stood up is when I really noticed something strange...His hair was like tiny newspaper clippings...it was like he had the classifieds on his head but it was real hair...very, very strange.

So he opens the door, one of his friend walks out into the yard, Lukas proceeds to make sure that I know what to do while everyone is gone...I wasn't paying attention b/c I was talking to his friend that was still in the house about how cold it was and that it had started to snow. Lukas began to poke my chest (that sensitive annoying spot) so I turned toward him and he told me that if anything happens to call him, he would be no problem. So they left.

The cable goes out. The construction worker comes from the back of the house and I was startled that he was still there...he was a red headed burly man, looked more like a lumber jack. He said he needed to use my phone b/c his had gotten wet, he took me to the middle room and there was a foot of water coming from the far corner of the room. I walked into the guest bathroom and the ceiling caved on me soaking me with cold water. At this point I couldn't remember what my mother or Lukas had told me to do so I let the dogs go out to use the restroom...Tobi and I sat down on the couch to watch cartoons, I was sopping wet and freezing my ass off. I forgot about the dogs and when I let them in we had a weenie dog and a yorky....I'm thinking when did this happen??? Last I knew we only had a lab...

That's when my phone rang. Now I'm awake and will now clean the kitchen for my mother before she comes home.

Not a relevant dream, but it was strange, and for me to have it in such a short time frame, I wasn't asleep an hour.

Okay...Don't let my previous three posts get buried...you can ignore the Witching Hour one, but my update is below that one. Things get buried pretty easily here...I'm thinking about changing my format. Anyway, ta-ta.

THE WITCHING HOUR

Eban Shletter's Witching Hour



This is something that I found on The Kids In The Hall's Live Journal...only b/c my Dave is involved...it's pretty interesting....I listened to it last night...Dave's contribution is track 19...

Any of you who like musicals I am sure will love this...let me know what you think

LONG AWAITED UPDATE

So I am out at my mom and David's house, sitting in their sweltering hot ass garage b/c I fear that my nails clanking on the keyboard will wake everyone up. They have wireless now so I am able to bring my computer out here and get things done.

I have blogged several mundane ramblings but will not pierce your eyes with the boredom...so thank me now. I've posted a dream below that I feel needs to be shared b/c seriously I have no clue where this shit comes from.

As most of you know I am unemployed now...since the 6th of August...and let me tell you it sucks. The insomnia monster is really loving this one let me tell ya. I try to go to bed at a decent time, sometimes I take something and sometimes I wing it...but 3-4am still rolls around to being my nap time, then noon, then the cycle repeats itself. So I come out here to get some things done, or just to have company or to have food in my greatly growing belly...and since they usually go to sleep around 830-9 and wake up around 4am...I get quite bored and even more sleep depraved...I'm not complaining by any means, I love the company, but I really want to sleep.

I have applied to 12 jobs so far and not one bite. I'm still waiting on my unemployment money to roll in and my severance package. Money really needs to start rolling in b/c that is what is really needed. All my bills are due right now and I don't have a cent to pay them. But that's okay, I am remaining calm and patient...I can't control this situation so no need on cashing in any anxiety tokens.

I have started tinkering with my second book...I'm playing around with the characters right now...I'm not going to dive in like I did with my last one...and as far as that one goes...for those who have read it...well one of you actually...it is being put on hold right now. I know, I know...but seriously, I need a break. They are driving me mad.

I've been watching Dawson's Creek...I'm almost done with Season 5...it's not bad. There have been several moments where I have wanted to shoot Dawson between his eyes and suffocate Joey with a pillow, but I love Pacey...Joshua Jackson...mad crush on him...somehow makes it all worth while, that and it suffices my boredom. I can't wait for my net to get turned back on.

So I was watching How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, but paused it to blog. I am sure most of you have forgotten about this...I am sure Liam still checks it frequently. I miss you bunches Liam. Looks like I will be missing you next year as well...one of these days our paths will cross hon!!

So it's 10:30 now...it's really hot in here so I will exit for now. I'll try to be more frequent with my posts.

I love you guys and miss you very much!!!
xoxo

OH and let me just clarify a premature ejaculation of words about that certain new queer eyed boy that I met...yeah...I retract every word.

I'm still wondering where have all the good men gone???

DREAM TIME THEATER

Dream from Tuesday, August 12, 2008

This is going to be hard to explain, but I’ll do my best. It revolves around a jewel, convenient store, a bar, an Indian themed spa and an obstacle course.

Casey Affleck and Liv Tyler were my roommates. Our house was amazing, a little strange though. If you are in a convenient store and you walk back toward the bottled section, open one of the doors and that led to our house. I was working the night shift b/c Casey and Liv had gone out, I had gone into the house to get something and I heard a loud commotion coming from the store. Nobody knew about our house, so I was safe just watching, or so I thought.

I quietly walked up to the door and these guys were tearing the store apart, speaking in another language, I had no idea what they were saying. I noticed one of them walk toward the soda section and I stepped backward for fear that they would see me and I knocked over a case of cans, I ran into the house to try and get out but the only real way out was through the store.

They made it into the house, and one of them got a hold of me, by my hair I was dragged and thrown against the bookshelves with a gun to my head they demanded to know where the jewel was. I had no idea what they were talking about, I was crying, scared for my life, but I told them that I would get it for them, if they let me go, I would cooperate. They turned around to discuss it and I escaped, barely.

I’m in a bar now, it kind of looks like the sky bar here in Dallas, Everyone prissily sipping their martinis and I walk in looking like a two bit whore off of Division street. My hair was ratty, my makeup was streaming down my face, my shirt was torn, I found Liv and when I noticed Jason sitting at a table not far from where she was I had began to panic even more b/c I hadn’t seen him in years and for some stupid reason, it still crushed me to see him.

She took me into the bathroom and it was like magic, I was restored. I got myself a drink and began to tell her what had happened. She had no clue either what jewel it was they were talking about, but then she remembered that Casey had been acting a little strange so we set out to look for him. He had walked in as we were leaving and then the men showed up as well…we escaped though and were hiding out at the spa.

The spa was like a new world. It was like we were literally in India. We were in white bathrobes and taken to the back where all the baths were, any type of bath you can take it was back there. This place was like a celebrity hide-out…it was fucking awesome.

Johnny Depp was my relaxation guide…lol…oh you would think that would have made my life the happiest ever, but for some reason I found myself with Bruce Willis. I left Johnny to attempt to bump uglies with Bruce Willis…what the hell is wrong with me…lol.

Okay, so the bath that we had was up on a platform, we were sitting on the edge. Liv and I were talking, she was pissed off at Casey b/c of the trouble that he had caused and Bruce just wedged his way in between us and was hitting on me. I became entranced with him. He was like a drug, He took the towel off my hair, whispering things in my ear, kissing my neck, the only time that we kissed kissed his tongue tasted like a cigar, but his lips were sweet. We were just about to get to that point and then those guys showed up and we had to leave immediately.

So we wound up leaving…we are now at some type of obstacle course, like the ones that you see on these silly reality shows, but in order to get away from these guys we had to do it. But we had to choose what animal to try and run from, I saw a grizzly bear and my first instinct was to run, so I did. The bear began to chase me and I froze, crying. This lady distracts the bear and says she will find another animal, I begin up these old rotting stairs that leads up to the trees and I hear this vicious dogs barking, I turn around and there were two dogs, A rotwaller and a pit/rot mix…I love rotwallers but this was not a nice dog, neither one of them were. Then I notice Bruce from down below screaming my name and they were on camels, he told me to swing down and we could leave. It was so far down and I am petrified of heights, but there were two rabid dogs coming toward me so I found a branch and managed somehow to swing down and landed on the camel. We are now running through town on these camels, running from these guys who are trying to kill us, and then I wake up.

It was very strange, I’m just happy that I am dreaming again.

URBAN LEGENDS

When I was in 3rd or 4th grade I would always stay the night with my friend Carrie White...I have no idea what has happened to her in life, but my most memorable moments at her house were telling scary stories, or now what people would call Urban Legends.

The one that stood out the most was The China Doll. She told this story so well b/c even as a 9-10 year old she had insanely long fingernails...for some reason I had this story in my head at work on Friday and googled it, and found it.

The funny thing is, this story never scared me. I never had nightmares b/c of it...and it didn't prevent me from getting rid of my own china dolls...and I had 4 growing up as a child. So I thought that I would share the story with you. I hope you enjoy it.

THE CHINA DOLL

A woman's husband had sent her a gift of a china doll while he was traveling in the Orient, which she put in a glass case in her bedroom. The doll had lovely black hair - real human hair - and was dressed in a real silk kimono, the folds of which concealed her graceful porcelain hands.

When the husband came home, the woman got pregnant, but she didn't love her husband and didn't want to have the baby (she only cared about his money). So she made herself have a miscarriage, and to hide the evidence, she put the aborted fetus into the hollow interior of the china doll.

The blood of the fetus, combined with the woman's malevolence and the china doll's human hair (and innate Eastern mystical properties), caused the china doll to come to "life." No one noticed that the china doll's hair was growing down the back of her silk kimono, that her cheeks were rosier, and that her nails were growing sharp and clawed behind the folds of her gown. No one noticed the way the doll's eyes followed the woman as she moved around the room, or how they glowed at night when the lights were turned off.

The woman did sense something out of the ordinary, however, and finally insisted that the china doll be moved downstairs, out of the bedroom. After a few weeks, the woman began to lose sleep, imagining that she heard scratching, rustling, whispering noises coming from downstairs, that seemed to be calling "Momma... momma!" She noticed scratches on the wooden stairs, which her husband said must be from mice, but the exterminator he called said there was no sign of rodents. The woman tried to lock the china doll in a closet, but the husband protested - it had been so expensive, was such a work of art, and he wanted it out on display.

Every day, there were a few more scratches on the stairs, and every day they got deeper.. and reached one step higher. One night as she tried to sleep, the woman imagined she heard scratching and rustling outside the bedroom door. She screamed for her husband to turn on the light, but by the time he fumbled out of bed, there was nothing there... except for some long shallow scratches at the bottom of the door and the faintest silken whisper from down the stairs.

The next night the woman took several strong sleeping pills and went to bed with the door shut tight, and locked for good measure. She finally got some sleep... and as she slept, the china doll stirred. Opening her glass case quietly, the china doll stole to the bottom of the stairs. Using her long sharp fingernails, she pulled herself up, one step at a time, until she was at the top of the landing. She whispered, "Momma, I'm coming!" and made her way to the door. She used her talon-like claws again to climb up the door, inserted one nail into the keyhole and jiggled the lock open, then slipped around to the woman's side of the bed.

The china doll used her nails like hooks to help her climb up onto the bed and then she slowly pulled the covers back to expose the sleeping woman's body. The doll's eyes glowed red as she raised her hands and then used her fingernails to claw open the woman's stomach. Near-paralyzed by drugs, pain, and terror, the woman screamed and screamed as the china doll climbed into her belly, whispering, "Momma, I'm home!"