It was a hot and love fullfilled month in the land of Shnergan Dergan, as Bruce and Dave tuck in their hot momma’s, Chica and Freaka, they tip-toe ever so quietly and meet up in the hallway.
They look at each other for a brief moment and collapse quietly and slowly against the wall.
“I am worn out.” They say in unison and begin to laugh.
“We don’t want to wake them up, lets go down into the cellar.” Bruce says as he helps poor Dave up from the floor.
They walk through the tunnels, pass the kitchen, and as they are about to enter the door they bend down to the Hasselhoff shrine and kiss his toes, the door opens and they walk in.
“You know Chica is going to be royally pissed when she finds out what really happened while they were asleep…”
“Don’t even say such nonsense, the worst she will do to Freaka is lock her up in the chambers…” Dave trails off to the image of Freaka tied and bound to the torture chamber walls, he smiles. “It might not be that bad after all.”
Bruce snaps his fingers, “Concentrate man!!”
They begin to search through the books, potions, but they can’t seem to find the one book that they are looking for…The Book of Secrets…it’s where Chica writes down her personal experiments…and one in particular can transport to any place in the world to let you know what is going on…and Bruce wanted to spy on The Beast and The Frog King…he knew that they would be back and it wasn’t going to be pretty.
A loud crash happened in the corner of the room and dust blew up all over. Poor Dave had tripped over his own beautiful feet and had fallen head first into the pots and pans and knocking over a small book shelf.
Bruce ran over to him trying to calm the noise when he found a hidden door. He slapped Dave upside his head and opened the door and he found the book.
“Alas!! My clumsy friend, you found it!!” He helped Dave back up once again and they went to the altar to find the Peek-A-Boo potion.
Bruce started running amok the room, grabbing potions, left and right…
Dave started laughing, “Man, Chica’s got you whipped.”
“I know first hand what this Beast can do to you and it’s not pretty…his breath alone can wipe out a small town…now shut the fuck up and hand me the IC-U potion.”
They poured all the potions in and a beastly gurgly fizz began to take over the pot…a green fog arose from the pot with such an odor that even the dead was disturbed.
Dave almost barfed, Bruce was very familiar with that smell, it was the smell of The Beast.
All of a sudden the fog cleared and a rombust voice echoed within the chamber…”SIT DOWN” cried The Beast. Dave sat…Bruce shook his head motioning for him to stand back up.
They both hover over the potion with clothes pins on their nose and observed what was going on down in the land of ForgetmeNOT…..
It looked dark and cold all they could see was The Beast and The Frog King drawing pictures on the black board….
“I will overtake Shnergan Dergan, that land will be mine…” cried The Beast.
The Frog King looked terrified, “Now, I…I…just want my daughter back, is it necessary to over throw the kingdom…”
“SHUT UP you slimy coward….of course it is necessary….I want to wrap his cape around his neck and throw HIM out the window….”
Bruce rolls his eyes and whispers, “As if.”
“But…but…what are we going to do for an army…all we have are the frog warriors from Sha-na-na-na….”
“SIT DOWN…you rise when I say you rise….”
“But I’m just saying…frogs, we aren’t that scary, most of the time we get stepped on by passers by….”
“The Frog Boy….” The Beast trails off in memory of Shnergan Dergan’s Frog Boy….oh but he wasn’t a boy any more, he was a frog…oh but he was insanely smart….almost some could daringly say that he was a genius….”I will find the Frog Boy…we will send in a spy, you have another daughter right?”
The Frog King hesitated for a moment….”Yes I do but she isn’t beautiful, she is quite ugly to be honest with you.”
“What is her name?” Demanded The Beast.
“Sha-nay-nay” The Frog King responded.
The Beast tried hard not to laugh. “You named your daughter Sha-nay-nay…what kind of parents are you??”
“Her mother was going through an awkward and annoying ‘Martin’ phase…I couldn’t win that argument.”
“Well you go back to your land and send Sha-nay-nay to The Land of Shnergan Dergan, lie to her, I don’t care what you do, but we need to frog nap Frog Boy…he is our only hope.”
The potion begins to die….Bruce frantically stirs it trying to get the image back but it was too late.
“What are we going to do?” Cries Dave.
“We are going to warn Frog Boy…”
“We aren’t going to tell the ladies about this?”
“Are you crazy…NO.’
“Don’t you think it would be wise….” Dave hears Freaka from the muffled walls crying his name…”I’ve got to go, my love has risen.”
As they walk, Bruce talks, “You need to get the virtual machine fixed while I take care of Chica.”
“Why the machine?”
“No offense Dave, but Freaka wouldn’t know the difference…I on the other hand don’t have anything at the top of my head that would distract Chica long enough…so that is what you will have to do.” They reach the doorway…”It will take the Frog King at least two days to get back to his kingdom, especially if he has to cross the sticker patch….so you have two days….don’t let her allure you…”
Freaka cooingly calls out for him again.
“TWO DAYS Dave.” Bruce says one last time before Dave disappears behind the door.
Bruce goes back to Chica and falls happily asleep in her arms. While Dave and Freaka make sweet love till the sun falls down.
Until next time…or for at least the next two weeks, The Land of Shnergan Dergan remains safe and quiet….stay tuned for the Journey of The Frog King……
