UPSETTING....

I am surprised as anyone that I even let this still bother me. I was scheduled to see my doctor tomorrow for a scheduled routine visit and got a phone call from them today saying that the insurance is denying payment on any doctor's visits from here on out. The last one that I went to they are refusing to pay. So I have no idea when I will be able to see the doctor again. She told me over the phone that it will be through approval only...meaning seeing the track record that I have been dealt, that more than likely means never....

So I am almost out of one of my medications and running low on another...I called into the pharmacist to fill my scripts and not 10 minutes later I get a phone call from the pharmacy stating that the insurance has denied one of them...the one that I need the most, my pain killer. So that was it...I broke down in sobs...my mother had to calm me down over the phone. I had left my lawyer's info at home so I couldn't do anything at that point and she is no longer in the office now.

I know it has everything to do with that damn letter that so called doctor wrote by stating that my injury has nothing to do with the original injury that was spouted by the company 'doctor' that I first saw the first day of my injury...a back strain...two years ago they tried to pull this shit and the original doctor wrote a detailed letter stating that all injuries unless obviously noted will be strains...but seeing that they don't have the actual equipment to diagnose these things, that is why I was sent to a specialist...that is when the MRI was performed, that is when the discs were diagnosed as being herniated.

I am so sick of dealing with this crap. I've been denied for too much...I was okay with the denial of the surgery, hell, I was relieved...but when they gave me the run around about my injections, I crawled into my little hole. But now they are denying me of everything and it's a load of bullshit. I want to hurt these people...I want to slap the shit out of them...I want them to live through the shit that I have lived through the last 8 months and then I want them to tell me how they feel.

How it makes them feel that they can't clean their own home b/c it practically disables them, how it makes them feel that their social life is completely ruined (almost) b/c their body can't physically keep up with them anymore...that how for 3 months they survived with only getting paid twice...how it makes them feel when they find out that they almost lose their job over this...and how except for family and few friends, they don't get any support. And then when all that seems to lift just a little...see how they feel to be denied of their doctor's visits AND their pain medication. I would like to pull their teeth out and break two of their bones and tell them to deal with it cold turkey...b/c I know no one in their right mind would be able to do it.

Happy Monday to whom that it may concern...I hope you feel good tonight when you go to bed all comf and secure...I hope you sleep well at night. B/C for me...it takes three pills (sometimes they don't work), 4 pillows on either side of my body to keep me in place, an ice pack/heating pad just to get me remotely comfortable...so sleep good you bastards, you will get what you deserve.